Beyond Behavior Management Second Edition By: Jenna Bilmes

This summer I chose Jenna Bilmes’ book “Beyond Behaviour Management (2ndedition)” as my professional reading book. In this book Jenna talks about the six life skills children need to be successful in school and life. The six skills are: attachment, belonging, self-regulation, collaboration, contribution and adaptability.

Key components and strategies:

1. Attachment: Any close, ongoing relationship that the child has with one or more adults inside and outside the home (pg. 6).

Children who have healthy relationship with their adults they:

• Look to them for love & affection.
• Depend on them for safety and security.
•  Count on them for knowledge, wisdom & guidance.
• Accept their help & comfort.

Three strategies to help strengthen your attachment to children:

• Get to know children well.

- What are the family’s expectations for their child?

- What do they see their child’s strengths & challenges?

- Who is this child?

- Include personal bits in your conversations with children (ex. “Good morning. Is your nana still visiting at your house?)

•  Interact with affection:

- Treating children with love & affection, regardless of their behaviour, will make your job as a teacher easier.

- When dealing with challenging behaviour make it clear to everyone in the room that you like that child, at the same time show that your intention is to keep all the children safe.

- Don’t alienate the child either from yourself or from others in the classroom.

• Recognize “insides.”

- When greeting/talking with children, emphasize character traits (ex. “Good morning. I feel happy when I see your big smile.”)

Notes when absent: Joanna recommends leaving a note for students to make them feel safe and secure as finding a substitute teacher can be traumatizing for some kids. Have the guest teacher post the note at students’ eye level so they can refer it when needed.

“Come” a magic word: Use “come” instead of “go” when you see a child beginning to spin out of control. Say: “Come sit by me” or “Come hold my hand” instead of “go sit there” etc. This makes the situation expected not forced.

Guiding children after they’ve made a mistake: move close to the child, get down to his/her level, and speak quietly so that you & the child can hear what is being said.

Large group instructions: Limit these to once or twice a day for only fifteen minutes or so.

Examples of activities to support attachment:     

• Sportscasting – imagine yourself as an announcer at an event.
•  Rest time – Use a singsong voice and chant things that the child has done throughout the day. Sing the chorus section of “You Are My Sunshine” while rubbing or patting his/her back.
•  Baby games – These games are effective if a child is having a bad day or is beginning to show signs of stress or falling apart. 

                          - Tickle bug

                          - Peekaboo

                          - This little piggy

                          - One, Two, Three, Jump

• Nurturing activities:

                         - Lotion Table

                         - Nail painting

                         -  Owie table

Think about it:

Think back to your childhood: Who do you remember as a key adult in your life? What fond memories pop into your mind when you think about that adult? For me it’s my mom and dad. I remember myself lying down on the carpet while my head resting on my mom’s lap. She would gently move her fingers in my hair and sing our traditional lullaby. I also remember having small walks with my dad and talk to him about my day while he would listen and smile, responding to my questions and wonderings.